Pre Marriage Counseling » Marriage Advice

How To Successfully Save Your Marriage

Samantha Jaim — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 10:32:54 +0000

Seeing your marriage fall apart right in front your very eyes is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. And knowing that your partner does not want to try working things out with you is like a knife that slowly stabs you. It would not be easy to save your marriage, but maybe it’s possible if you are determined to put in all the works.

The really important thing you have to bear in mind is that sometimes we get so focused in one goal to the point that we neglect asking ourselves if the goal is worthwhile. This happens all the time in most marriages. Whenever one or the other feels that the marriage is falling apart and they decide they have to save it at all costs, they get so focused on that outcome that they will never really pause to ask if it’s worth saving.

Yes, it’s difficult to hear and many religious sectors would disapprove if I say that not all marriages are worth saving at all. But it’s true. Sometimes there are things that we cannot solve. This is especially true if one of you has the problem. Just look at the recent spate of celebrity divorces due to infidelity.

If one of you regrets being unfaithful once, then the marriage may be saved. But if it’s a situation where one partner cheated several times, then that is indicative of a very serious problem. And it will take so long for it to be fixed. You can only overcome that situation if the partner whose been cheating will be willing to change.

In this situation ending the suffering of the faithful spouse is the most important consideration to make. The marriage probably shouldn’t be saved at all if you’re going through this difficult time. It’s not going to be easy to save your marriage alone.

Another instance, I have this friend who has an alcoholic husband. She is a great wife and a mother to their children. But the marriage is still not stable because of her husband. She wants to make things work. She wants them to stay together, but unless her husband changes, the marriage will still be rocky no matter what she does. Their marriage will still be ruined and that won’t be a good example to their children.

You wouldn’t want your children to grow up in a chaotic environment, where you and your partner are disrespecting each other. Your children may form bed thoughts about how relationships should be. It’s sometimes better to move on and hopefully find someone who can be a good parent. That will show the kids the right way to treat a partner.

If you really want to save your marriage, think clearly and weigh you options first. If your partner doesn’t care about how you feel or the relationship enough to try to save it, is there really something worth saving? A good relationship will never be perfect but it should be well balanced where each partner is giving as much as they are getting.

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The Top 4 Guidelines To Achieve Marriage Restoration And Success

Kisa Puckett — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:12:26 +0000

Forgiving is many times very difficult in life although it is essential for Marriage Restoration. What even seems to be more difficult is forgiving our close loved ones and spouses for past hurts and pains. Because we hold our loved ones close to us and their decisions and actions effect us greatly in ways that do not effect us when others outside of them do things toward us, it becomes an even more difficult task for most of us. In order to succeed with Marriage Restoration it is very crucial that we forgive no matter how wrong something may feel. There are 4 steps to help you and your spouse to move the past in the past, place forgiveness on the table and embrace Marriage Restoration.

- Be sure to reflect on your own personal relationship with God, then commit to God’s Will with your spouse, as well as individually. Making sure you are in right relationship with God is the foundation of committing to His Will. By being in right relationship with Him, you are able to hear Him speak to you, your life and your marriage.

2) Agree to tell the truth from this point on, with no lies. Honesty is imperative and builds trust back into the relationship so that doubt no longer resides.

- Allow communication and discussions to be without attacks, while giving each other respect and uninterrupted time to express feelings, thoughts and concerns.

4) Pray over it and agree to move forward without ever looking back on it. It is important that God remain the foundation of your new Marriage Restoration plan. He will supply every need and give you strength, knowledge and wisdom, as well as patience to endure the change.

Marriage Restoration and forgiveness go hand and hand. God’s desire for us is reconciliation which happens during Marriage Restoration. Having a solid action plan is necessary to alleviating some of the hardships of forgiving during Marriage Restoration. As Jesus Christ is our example, modeling Him as He forgives, just as He did when he died and saved us in the midst of our sin, we too must forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

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Eliminating Conflict In Christian Marriage Using Communication

Kisa Puckett — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 20:04:01 +0000

As we have discovered many times before, communication is a very important component of marriage success and growth. Mastering the important concepts to communicating efficiently is absolutely necessary to the success of your marriage or relationship.

Even though communication in marriage and relationships has been a very well spoken subject, more often than not the very important factors that create healthy communication patterns is overlooked.

If you have experienced great struggle in the department of communication with your husband or wife or are losing the battle of succeeding in your marriage, implementing the key basics to building healthy habits is the initial step of not just developing your communication with your wife or husband, but also safeguarding your marriage from a very damaging path.

There is a strong link between unhealthy communication and a declining marriage or relationship. Quite often married couples bring very unhealthy practices and patterns into the relationship. These unhealthy communication habits are usually emotionally and mentally abusive in nature. If emotional and mental abuse is not a variable, often times a husband or wife may find it very troublesome to discuss stressful matters.

If you are living with this type of disconnect with your spouse, how you react to them can be the main difference between safeguarding your marriage or ruining it.

Saving and growing in your marriage ought to be preceded by establishing and preserving good communication in your relationship. A quite difficult, but powerful aspect to heading in the direction of developing healthy patterns will be to first recognize and embrace vulnerability. By doing this, you then begin the start of true change in your marriage and communication habits. Learning to share your stresses and fears with your partner in an affirming way is vital to this course of action. By understanding this guideline, you then can begin experiencing a transformation in the manner that your spouse perceives communication, which can lead them to be coaxed out of communication avoidance.

By communicating your love language through these fundamental points, it will help your marriage to blossom and acquire the foundation of healthy communication patterns:

Involve and ask without accusations . (Proverbs 15:1b “…but a harsh word stirs up anger”)

Diffuse intense discussion with a gentle reply . (Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath…)

Lavishly affirm your husband or wife with words . (Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen)

Control your tongue from what you say . (Psalm 39:1 I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth…)

Don’t store up rage within your heart, instead bring it out in a Godly manner to make certain you aren’t “reacting” but rather are “responding” to the subject at hand (Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…)

Considering the fact that marital difficulties have a range of causes, developing healthy communication as the Bible instructs us and the way God wants for all of us is essential to ultimately saving your marriage of much agony and pain as well as learning highly effective forms of communication that transforms your marriage while taking it to new levels. When you are able make this process crystal clear and apply it in your life without having opposition, you can then see the actual power in it and reap the returns of its fruit.

For more secrets and strategies on how to have an amazing Marriage that others only dream of, be sure to check out our exclusive insider Christian Marriage Resource at http://mychristianmarriageadvice.com/ for all your exclusive Christian Marriage Advice needs.

Finding Peace Within Your Marriage

Carol Ann — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:36:21 +0000

So you got married and everything was perfect. Your spouse could do no wrong, everything that he or she did was cute and adorable. Then one day these cute and adorable acts aren’t what they used to be. You begin to get slightly annoyed at them. Eventually, some time down the road, these annoyances can escalate and cause serious trouble in your marriage.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Keep It In Perspective- Little things can be overlooked. Your spouse is not perfect but neither are you, so try to focus on all the wonderful ways that your spouse enhances your life.

2. Take A Breather- Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.

3. Do Not Yell, SPEAK- If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.

4. Do Things To Build Your Relationship- Many people don’t realize the value of taking time out of the day to to bond with each other. Participate in a shared interest, go to dinner, or plan a romantic getaway. You will find that your spouse annoys you less when you feel attached to them.

5. Make Jokes- It is okay occasionally to use humor when dealing with your spouse. There is nothing wrong with making light of something that they do that annoys you, that is as long as your spouse has a sense of humor. You will most likely find that by turning it into a joke it will diffuse the issues you are having and put it in a whole new light.

It is important to remember that living with anyone day after day can be stressful, but that dealing with the humanness of each other is the key to a healthy and happy marriage.

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Considering Marriage Counseling During Relationship Struggles

newly wed guide — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 07:38:57 +0000

With married life comes struggles and with those struggles comes the desperate attempts at finding a solution through problem solving tactics or going for marriage counseling. Once considered a last resort, marriage counseling is now the talk of the town and the best possible option for people who have lost the ability to communicate. These types of problems are common and many people are turning to marriage counseling to improve their relationships and get some much needed peace in their lives.

Many people from all walks of life think that they know what is best for individual marriages and that they are capable of offering advice to any and all couples. The truth of the matter is that each couple is different.

The struggles in marriage, while possibly retaining some common ground, are most often categorically unique to the personalities of the couple. While there are some instances in which a little marriage advice from a friend or family member can be extremely helpful, in most cases the notion of anyone being qualified to give marriage advice should be considered suspect.

For this reason, marriage counseling should be taken with a grain of salt. While there are certain cases in which an outside and objective opinion is absolutely detrimental to the prospect of saving a marriage, there are other instances in which the best advice is to learn with one another as to how to solve the problems of a marriage from within.

Many people are far too apt to turn to outside help without actually testing the resolve of their communication first, leading to an inability to discuss and talk out one’s own problems. Talking to your partner should be the first consideration in terms of getting marriage advice, but many people completely discard the partnership aspect and treat their husband or wife more like a silent partner.

The most important thing to remember about marriage is that the foundation is built on communication. Without communication, even the greatest external advice through marriage counseling can end up being futile. Marriages will have conflicts, but it is important to realize that there are healthy ways to escape those conflicts and find the answers. While the foundation of a good relationship needs some conflict to survive, the methods of dealing with those conflicts is more important than anything else.

When considering marriage counseling, there are several questions to be asked about the nature of the relationship on the whole. If there are issues in terms of communication within the confines of a trusted relationship, how many more issues will result from taking an outside party and adding them to the situation?

Furthermore, if the parties are closed off to advice on issues such as pride or jealousy, how likely will marriage counseling be to solve any aspect of the relationship or its problems? These questions need answers before marriage counseling is considered by any couple.